Life of the Party Skeleton Birthday — Free Dark Humor Lock Screen Wallpaper

So I turned 30 last week. Or 300. Hard to tell when you don't have skin.

My doctor said I need calcium. I said buddy, I'm ALL calcium. I'm literally the problem you're trying to solve.

I brought a cake. Blew out the candles. Didn't work. Turns out lungs are required. Who knew?

THANK YOU, that's the joke, Karen from accounting.

The mug says "another year closer to death." I'm already there. I'm just maintaining. Like a really committed gym membership I can't cancel.

My dating profile says "no baggage." Technically true. Can't carry baggage. No muscles. Also no house. No car. No job. Just vibes and vertebrae.

The red spill on the table? Not blood. I tried to open a wine bottle. No hands. Just commitment and poor life choices.

You know why skeletons are calm? Because nothing gets under their skin. Thank you, I'll be here until decomposition.